


What You Don't Value

by Blue_Night



Series: The Pegasus Alliance [23]
Category: Stargate - All Media Types, Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Bonding, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-27 00:25:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18293144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Night/pseuds/Blue_Night
Summary: John and Todd are on their way back to Atlantis after a short holiday when Michael Kenmore's shadow catches up with them again. Todd needs some comfort after that, and John is willing to give his Wraith mate what he needs.





	What You Don't Value

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Luciferieee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luciferieee/gifts).



> My dearest Luciferieee,
> 
> you have been such a faithful friend over the last months, words cannot express how much it means to me that you sent me kind words and love every single day within the last long weeks, your mails and the pictures you sent me were always what made me smile after another long and exhausting horrible day, and I value your friendship and your support more than I can tell you.  
> Knowing what hard times you're going through yourself at the moment, please take this as a very small thank you for everything you're doing for me, my dear friend. Thank you for always being there and bringing some light back into my life. <33
> 
> My dear readers,
> 
> I'm sorry for my long absence and silence, but my life has changed completely and I'm still trying to adjust to everything that happened and find my way through the chaos. I'm not sure how much time I'll have left for my writing in the future, but I'll do my best to finish at least some of my stories, even though it will take much longer than I'd thought that I would need because I'm a single mom now and my kids will always come first. Please be patient with me, and I want to thank all of you who have been faithful readers of my Wraith stories and especially this series over the last years. This part is not a really happy one, I hope you'll enjoy it at least a little bit nonetheless. <33

“We came too late.”

Todd's multi-toned voice sounded impassive, shallow, but John walking behind him could sense his mate's inner turmoil as if it was his own. He actually felt the same way as they made their way through the destroyed Wraith cruiser, the sight of the Wraith they hadn't been able to save in time lying lifeless on the ground forming a lump in his throat. The colonel with the hazel-green eyes and the messy dark hair couldn't tell the moment he'd started to care about the life of a Wraith – any Wraith, not just his mate and their allies – as much as he cared about the life of any other human being, but the moment probably didn't matter as he did that now.

He and Todd were on their way back to Atlantis from a short trip to Celtia, the planet where Major Erik Drum had found his Wraith mate Marciano, a planet that had a special meaning to John and Todd now as well. They had spent a few days there to have some quality time and renew their strong bond, taking one of the larger and modified new Dart Fighters that could go on long distance missions, and they had caught the SOS signal from a strange Wraith cruiser when they had dropped out of hyper space to fixate their course for a second time to avoid an encounter with the dangerous star Major Drum had encountered on his maiden flight with one of the brand new Dart Fighter several months ago.

Celtia bordered the region where Michael Kenmore had built some secret outposts on several planets, protecting them with weapons and traps that were dangerous for human space ships and Wraith ships to the same extent. John had immediately set up the new course that would bring them to the Wraith cruiser, but Michael's weapon had destroyed the cruiser before they'd reached it, some kind of tractor beam that had forced the ship into a crash landing none of the obviously rather young and inexperienced Wraith had survived.

The tall Wraith Commander knelt down beside one of the Wraith when they reached the bridge, and John had to blink when he saw how gently, almost tenderly, his mate stroked a silver-white strand out of the Wraith's face. He remained silent, not wanting to disturb the moment of grief as his mate mourned the death of one of his brethren, a brother he hadn't known, but who could have become a valued friend and ally if fate had let their paths cross before it had been too late for them. He must have been the Commander of the cruiser, and he'd stood his ground before his console til the end, fighting against the inevitable with all his might.

_'Sometimes, life was so cruel, making you doubt its worth, meaning and purpose,'_ John thought, and for a very long time, he'd stopped valuing his life and not cared at all whether or not he would survive the next mission or the next day, challenging death on each and every opportunity that offered itself to him, but these times were gone, and John was grateful for every minute he could spend at Todd's side, alive and healthy. He would never give up his dreams and hopes again, and he would never again not value the life destiny had chosen for him, no matter how many hardships and griefs he had to overcome and deal with.

Todd slowly rose to his feet again, turning his head to look at John. There were no words left, and John offered comfort with his mere presence, entangling their fingers for a brief moment as he knew that feeling of angry helplessness far too well himself to offer cheap platitudes that would only make everything worse. They both had lost so many friends and underlings they had valued and loved, and John followed his mate back to their own Fighter silently and deeply lost in his thoughts.

They would come back here to make sure that Michael's weapon wouldn't destroy any other ship and life, and one day they would have found the last one of his hidden outposts and make sure that Michael Kenmore's dark shadow wouldn't cost any more life in the Pegasus Galaxy, the galaxy that had become John's true home after so many years.

One day Michael's shadow would be gone, and their home would be a place where Wraith and humans could live in peace and love together, just like it was between the Wraith and the New Lanteans of the Second Alliance.

Todd was quiet on their long flight back to Atlantis, and John didn't try to talk either, but he took Todd's right hand to entangle their fingers once more, and the brief smile the tall Wraith gifted him with in return assured the human colonel that they would be fine again. As long as he and Todd were together, John would always be fine, no matter what would happen in the future.

 

\------------------------------------------

 

They arrived in Atlantis a couple of hours later, but Todd found himself unable to forget what he'd seen, and he had a hard time keeping the calm mask on his face when they entered the gate room. John had been quiet and thoughtful during their flight back, and Todd longed to bond with his consort and learn what the dark-haired human who was the center of his world was thinking. John still didn't feel comfortable with this most intimate connection two living beings could ever have together, and Todd never asked for it, but in this moment he wished that John would let him in and share his feelings with him in a way that didn't need any spoken words.

John turned his head to smile at him, reaching out for his hand again. “Why don't you go back to your Hive and wait there for me? I'll inform Richard and Commander Antonius, they can prepare everything for an off-world-mission to this planet. Major Drum and Marciano haven't been on a mission for some time, and Marciano knows Michael's weapons and traps best. Maybe Major Lewy and his consort Thomas can join them. I'll join you when I'm finished here.”

Todd hesitated for a split moment, it still surprised him when John agreed to spending time on board their Hive with him. But he just nodded, grateful that things had changed between them and that John was finally able to accept that he was in love with a Wraith with all consequences that came with being Todd's chosen consort. “Thank you, Sheppard,” he said hoarsely, heading towards the pier where his Dart was always waiting for him when he spent time in Atlantis without turning around. He was the High Commander of the Second Alliance, and showing his feelings too openly in public was nothing he felt comfortable with, at least not these kind of sad feelings.

Bonding with his Hive and his crew was just what he needed right now, and that John sensed what he craved for and gave him what he needed was almost as good as bonding with his human consort himself would have been.

Todd had learned to value the little things and the small signs of affection John was willing to show him when others were around years ago, and his patience had been rewarded in the end, their bond so much stronger now than ever before. Nothing would ever change that, not even Michael Kenmore's shadow and the horrible things he'd done and which had almost destroyed Todd's home, the Pegasus Galaxy.

It might be only a small and unimportant galaxy compared to John's birth galaxy, the Milky Way, or compared to the Andromeda Galaxy their home Pegasus circled around, but to Todd it meant everything, and he would defend it at all cost and with all his heart for as long as he lived, together with John Sheppard fighting by his side, just like they had done it ever since their paths had crossed for the first time in the bunker of the Genii Acastus Kolya.

 

\---------------------------------–---

 

Coming back to his Hive was such a relief that it made Todd's knees buckle, and the warm and familiar stream of welcome, love and consoling thoughts filled his mind and made the burden of his photographic memory easier to bear. Cameron Mitchell was stood beside his mate on the bridge, but one look back and forth between Todd and Raven made him bow before the High Commander before he turned to leave and grant the two Commanders the privacy Todd needed right now.

“High Commander, it's a pleasure to have you back on board,” the colonel with the deep blue eyes said politely and respectfully, and Todd smiled at the first human who had given up everything to live among a race that had still been his friends' lethal enemies not long before Cameron had wanted to spend his holidays on board a Hive without really knowing what would await him there. Cameron's curiosity to learn more about their former enemies and his willingness to trust them with his life and well-being without expecting any warranty for his safety in return was the best proof how the seemingly little things could change everything for the better, and Todd valued the blue-eyed colonel as a close friend and true member of his crew he would always protect with his own life without thinking.

“Colonel Mitchell, thank you for your warm welcome,” he gave back, and Cameron smiled back at him as he made his way to the exit. “Master Marcos asked me to train with our youngest crew members - if I'm not needed here at the moment,” he said, and Raven nodded in agreement, his attention already focused on his superior. “Just teach them that they should never underestimate humans and their strength, Cam,” he remarked stoically, pulling a dry chuckle from his consort. “I'll do my very best, Commander,” he snorted, teasing his mate with the formal addressing in front of the officers standing a few meters away behind their own consoles. It had the desired effect Cameron had most likely wished for, because Todd felt himself relax when he saw his second-in-command roll his eyes in a very human manner.

“Your next training lesson will be with me, human!” Raven growled, and Cameron stopped on the threshold, looking back at his beloved Wraith. “I'm looking forward to it, my dear husband. You'll be surprised to find that I'm not that easy to defeat any longer as you were used to.” He disappeared into the gloomy corridor before Raven could respond, and the Wraith with the strict but beautiful ageless features and the long ponytail shook his head in feigned desperation before his expression became serious again and he searched for Todd's eyes to ask for the deep mental bond only few people were allowed to establish with him.

_'We've become much more human thanks to our allies than we ever wanted to be,'_ Todd thought as he opened his mind for his friend and second to share his grief about their unknown dead brethren with him, _'but it's a good thing that we did, because they've become much more Wraith than they ever expected to be for our sake as well.'_

 

\---------------------------------

 

John had hurried to get the off-world-mission going as quickly as possible, trying not to let himself be distracted by his wish to join his hurting mate on board their Hive too much. He was still marveling about the astonishing fact that he thought of Todd's flagship as their Hive for quite some time already, but he was just grateful that this was how he felt about it now, and it was actually all that mattered. He had needed so long to come to terms with his feelings for his beautiful Wraith, and John knew that he owed Todd a lot for his patience, understanding and willingness to give his stubborn human consort the time John had needed to feel comfortable about being his chosen consort with all the consequences such a relationship implied.

Major Drum and Marciano were on their way to the planet together with Major Lewy and his consort Thomas, and John knew the mission in the best hands possible with them. Commander Antonius would be the Commander in charge of the mission as his territories were the closest to the world they needed to visit to destroy Michael's weapon and explore the outpost that must be hidden there, and John didn't waste any more time but went straight to his favorite Jumper to fly to their Hive where his mate was waiting for him. He didn't meet anybody on his way to the Jumper bay, and John had the suspicion that Major Lorne had seen to him not having to answer any questions about his holidays on his way to Luna, the Jumper he had a special connection with.

“Hey, beautiful lady,” he greeted the Jumper that opened her hatch for him even before he'd had the chance to think of it, apparently as excited to see him as he was eager to see Todd again. “I'm sorry that I didn't visit you over the last days, Luna, but Todd and I needed some time alone, and Celtia is too far away to fly there with you,” John apologized, and Luna blinked her understanding when John sat down on the pilot's seat. “Todd needs me, so please hurry up, my lady,” John asked the Jumper, and the ceiling of the bay opened at his mental command, Atlantis sensing his urgent wish to console his mate and responding to it instantly. It was amazing how easily Atlantis had accepted the Wraith of the Second Alliance as her rightful inhabitants, never making any difference between the humans and the Wraith walking through her corridors and living in her towers. Wraith like Brennan who possessed the ATA-gene could even communicate with her like John did, and the City of the Ancients had even started to respond to the thoughts of those Wraith who spent a lot of time within her shimmering walls.

Luna spiraled herself in the dark-blue sky over Atlantis, and John knew that she would bring him safely to Todd's Hive that had become John's second home next to Atlantis almost unnoticed, but which was just as much his home now as the city of his ancestors was nevertheless.

 

\--------------------------------------------

 

Todd had withdrawn into his quarters after seeing to his duties as the High Commander of fourteen powerful Hives. He still felt restless and upset, but bonding with his crew and especially with Raven had helped him to calm down again at least partly, and he strolled over to the large window opposite the entrance to look outside and watch the stars. He sensed his consort's presence even before Luna landed in the Dart bay, and he didn't turn around when the door opened with a quiet hiss and John walked in, crossing the room to wrap his arms around Todd's midsection from behind in a gesture of silent comfort.

They stood like this for a while, watching the stars together, John's body heat warming Todd's back through his heavy coat. John's scent enclosed him like a soft bubble, so familiar and enticing even after all those years they were together. Todd would never get enough of it, and he still remembered how he'd inhaled John's scent for the first time, back then in the cold and ugly prison cell in Kolya's bunker that had reeked of death and decay. It had been the only smell Todd had known for more than a decade before John had stumbled into his life and turned it back into a life Todd could actually love and value again. John had been nothing more than any other meaningless human to him at first, the food Todd's tortured body and mind craved so badly after years of agony and starvation, but this had changed when Todd had looked into John's eyes for the first time, beautiful hazel-green eyes glowing with determination to survive and flee from this horrible place again, his scent strong and too delicious to resist this special human when John had offered him an alliance so unexpectedly.

John had been injured, exhausted and dirty, but his scent had been the scent of a strong and healthy young man, and the desire that had captured Todd's weak body all of a sudden had not been the desire to drain this remarkable human dry and kill him with that, but the desire to learn more about the man with those amazing eyes and the unruly dark hair, to come closer to him in the most intimate way possible and reveal all of his secrets.

And now they stood here in Todd's quarters on board his Hive, united in love and unwavering trust, and Todd turned around and bent his head to inhale John's wonderful scent again, the scent that excited Todd every time John came close to him. John sighed and tilted his head to the side to offer his throat to his Wraith in a gesture of uttermost trust, his hands coming up to gently tousle Todd's silver-white mane. “Bond with me, my mate, share your feelings with me,” John murmured against Todd's cool cheek, and the tall Wraith drew in a shaky breath and reached out for the human's mind. He'd tried to hide his emotional hurt and grief from his consort as he knew that John still had reservations to let Todd into his head, but his beloved consort never hesitated to offer his Wraith mate this kind of comfort when he really needed it ever since he'd done that for the first time when Todd had found his brother again after more than ten thousand years.

John melted against him, welcoming him in the loving embrace of his thoughts, and Todd blindly searched for his lips to kiss and taste him. Their thoughts interwove with each other until Todd couldn't tell any longer where he ended and where John began, and their kiss got heated and passionate very quickly. Todd wanted to drown in John's love, he wanted to forget what he'd seen today more than anything, and John's passion and desire for him was balm for his wounded soul and granted him the forgetting he craved so much for at least a few hours.

John hummed against his lips, dueling playfully with Todd's agile tongue for dominance until Todd snarled passionately and scooped his human consort up into his arms to carry him over to the bedroom. “I want you, my mate,” John encouraged Todd to give in to his desire, their minds still deeply connected. “Love me like only Wraith can do!”

The tall Wraith growled ardently, lowering John down onto the bed to rip his clothes from his aching body. John leaned back, balancing his weight on his forearms braced against the mattress, watching Todd undress with raw hunger written all over his handsome features. “You're so beautiful, Todd, I'm really a lucky man!”

“I could say the same, human!” Todd stated, his eyes roaming over John's flushed face. “Why don't you undress, my beautiful consort?”

John's eyes glittered with challenge, and Todd could hear his soft chuckle in his head. _'Maybe I want you to do that and just tear my uniform from my body, my mate?'_ the hazel-eyed human purred in his thoughts, and Todd didn't need any further invitation and crawled on top of John when he was naked, ripping his jacket open with his hands and his teeth at the same time. John chuckled and wriggled to make it easier for his impatient mate to get him naked, pulling him over his body again when there was no barrier left between them at last.

Todd looked down at his consort to watch his right hand glide through the soft fur on John's chest with fascination and rapt devotion, and the amazement and gratitude he felt that John didn't flinch back from his feeding hand but arched his back from the mattress to press into Todd's touch instead tightened his throat.  
John's nails dug into Todd's shoulders to pull his head down, and Todd obeyed all too happily, claiming John's warm lips in another passionate and deep kiss.

_'I love you, John, you don't know how much I love you.'_

_'Yes, I do, Todd.' John's voice was tender in his head, 'believe me that I do. I love you too, my mate. Please take me, show me how much you love me and take all of me!'_

His human didn't need to say that twice, and Todd reached for the special oil he kept on the small table beside his bed with a low growl, his next kiss leaving no doubts about his eagerness to make love to his consort the way only Wraith could do.

 

\------------------------------------------

 

John couldn't avert his eyes from the glorious sight above him, Todd's beautiful alien features suffused with the love and passion he felt for his human consort as they moved together, coming closer to the edge with every deep and powerful thrust the Wraith pushed into John's willing body with. John could feel his mate in every cell of his burning body and every part of his mind, and he just loved the way Todd filled him so perfectly. They had needed so long to reach this point, and John valued the precious moments more than he could express in words.

It was a good thing that he didn't really need any words to express how much he loved and cherished his Wraith mate, all he needed was to welcome Todd in his mind and his heart, and this was so much easier than John had ever expected it to be. Trust didn't come naturally to the colonel, it had to be earned, and only few people had managed to earn John's trust over the course of time, people that had become his true family not by blood but by the experiences that tied them together, by the countless times they had risked their lives for each other. John hadn't wanted to trust Todd even when hadn't been able to deny his feelings for the infatuating alien male any longer, but his Wraith had never given up, and now he was the one in two galaxies John trusted the most.

The hazel-eyed colonel reached for Todd's right hand to press it against his sternum when he felt himself getting close, and Todd silenced his hoarse cry of ecstasy with another deep kiss, biting down with his feeding organ to gently suckle at John's delicious life-force. John's body arched from the mattress, desire and lust for his mate making him feel like burning alive. He could feel his life flowing out of his body where Todd's hand was touching his chest, but he didn't feel any fear or real pain, and just when the weakness became overwhelming Todd reversed the process and fed John with his own strength until John feared that he would burst and explode in the very next second. His vision went white with the force of his climax, but he could still see Todd's golden cat's eyes looking down at him with so much love and passion, and he sent his own love and ecstasy through their deep mental bond to share his pleasure and ecstasy with his Wraith mate.

Todd drew back from his lips to sink his teeth into John's vulnerable throat instead when he lost himself in his own ecstasy, filling John with his seed and his strength at the same time, their bodies and minds united to one single being until the hot waves of pure pleasure finally faded to the warm afterglow that followed their complete satisfaction. Todd dropped down on his human consort with a low sated purr, and John gently carded his fingers through his long silky mane while he offered comfort and understanding through their deep bond to heal the wound Michael Kenmore had caused once more.

The ancient being John had fallen in love with years ago allowed himself moments of weakness and grief only rare times, and the trust he showed his human consort when he let himself be consoled this way was a precious gift and something that made John feel humble and blessed. The colonel pulled the blankets over their slowly cooling bodies when Todd moved to the side and pulled him close against his solid frame, pillowing his head onto Todd's hairless chest. Todd was staring at the ceiling, but his thoughts were calm and filled with confidence again, his fingers absentmindedly caressing John's naked arm and shoulder.

“Our holidays were wonderful, but I'm glad to be back home. I missed it more than I'd thought,” John mused after a while, and Todd turned his head to peer at him from the side. He'd withdrawn from John's mind a couple of minutes ago, and John's words seemed to surprise him. “We're on board my Hive, John, not in Atlantis.”

John smiled tenderly at him, reaching out to cup his chin and stroke his face. “Our Hive, my mate. It has taken me a long time to reach this point, but your Hive is my home now just like Atlantis is. Home is where the heart is, and my heart belongs to you. Your Hive is a part of you, and you're a part of it, so it is my Hive and my home now too. I'm sorry that it took me so long to realize that, but in the end I did, and that's all that matters I guess.”

“It is, my consort,” Todd said, love and happiness replacing the sadness in his eyes, and the gentle kiss he pressed onto John's lips was a promise for the future, the promise that John would always have a home and a family he could come back to as long as he lived.

The Second Alliance was their home now, and not even Michael Kenmore's shadow could ever take that away from them again. John would see to that and not give up until Michael's shadow would never threaten any being living in Pegasus anymore, whether they were humans or Wraith, because they all belonged to the home John loved and valued more than anything – a small galaxy far away from the galaxy where John had once been born with the beautiful name Pegasus.


End file.
